Well yeah, junior year, it's everything I've expected it to be, but worse. Hahah, I think this is funny.

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
______________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________


ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________


REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature                                    Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi                                    State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)

So hey, I'm back from vacation! I went to Florida for HOSA and Philippines for...fun? Florida was sort of disappointing. It was still really fun, but it just didn't live up to my expectations. I thought the golfball thing at Epcot was gonna be way bigger... My roomies were the best though. Oh man, some major good times. The Weather was pretty awesome, too. Jackie and I were in the coolest storm ever, lightning is so sweet.

As for the Philippines... I love being Filipino! Haha. It's a whole different world there. Hm, for example, no hot water, going to the mall is a pretty big deal, they have no 7th and 8th grade, so you start highschool at like 12 and college at 15-16, everyone has perfectly straight hair, drinking and clubbing age is 18, everyone smokes ciggs,  EVERYONE has a cell phone, texting is the main form of communication there, lol, everyone also has maids, everyone seems to have a really good singing voice..., Oh and traffic rules and laws are mere suggestions to drivers there, seriously, haha. Lane lines and traffic lights are almost 95% igonred.  It's pretty crazy, but sad, cuz it is a third world country, meaning people really do live in cardboard boxes on the side of the road. It's pretty bad... America is so rich. lol. One dollar is equal to 56 pesos. Example of that...at a regular theater, one ticket is 60 pesos. That's a lil over a dollar, compared to here where it's like $8.50. A massage person [dunno how to spell that one word] came to my house and gave me a massage that lasted for 1.5 hours and it was only 250 pesos. At essentials in the mp it's $60 for 60 mins. It's pretty freakin awesome. I'm sure you've already guessed that with those prices I did some mad shopping, hm and maybe got something for you!  Well yeah, it's rainy season there so it rained a lot. I took a couple showers in the rain cuz it rains like a shower, and it's warmer than the shower water...I was wearing a bathing suit, so chill.  I mainly just visited my family and hung around at the beach, and got eaten alive by mosquitos. I had 25 on my left arm alone. I dunno, I guess American blood is just too sweet. Haha jk jk. Yeah, I had a great time though. I'm glad to be home. I'm jetlag as hell.  Well, back to my real life...haha. Bye bye.